Guess what? 🙂
I’m fighting with a severe headache while writing this blog and my colleague is troubling me with instant messages. That’s not enough. I just had my stock of ‘Flashes of the Obvious!’. I think this is the right time to put them here (there’s no particular reason).
These are my general findings in office meetings-
* Before the meeting, whenever you tell something technical to your boss, he nods his head forcefully and rapidly. That indicates that he doesnâ€™t understand a damn word.
* (In Tele-Confs, especially) Whenever the client gargles into the microphone, the team puts down head into the notepad only to draw lines (horizontal lines, to be specific). This is to give an impression that all important points are being noted.
* Boss typically tries to adopt client’s speaking style, but always fails to do so.
* Boss wouldn’t find the ‘mute’ button when its extremely important to press it.
* Boss may assign anyone randomly to answer a technical question that client pops up without a warning (?).
* Once the meeting is done, boss talks about productivity. The talk essentially consists of some vague guidelines on how the ‘Team’ (which essentially excludes him) should improve. This is followed by Flashes of the Obvious.
Q. What are Flashes of the Obvious?
Ans.:- Flashes of the Obvious are those ridiculous, annoying statements that boss makes after a meeting to claim his presence in the technical discussion which may cause temporary blindness amongst the team members.
I present my collection of the ‘Flashes of the Obvious’ gathered over a period of over 8 months. They are as under-
* You should always plan in advance.
* You see, pre-planning is very important.
* (My Fav.) I don’t have 10 hands.
* You should always take decisions depending on the situation.
* We all are a team.
* Today is Monday, Tomorrow is Tuesday.
* See, quality is important to us.
* Work is our first priority.
* We all are employees of -Company Name-
* If we understand how it works, we need not understand it again (??? )
* Client expects quality from us.
* We must not miss the deadlines.
* Sunday is holiday (what the heck!)
* .jar file is different from a .class file (this happened yesterday)
I’ll stop this jabber here and do some work. Anyway, we’ve a listening skills seminar in 30 minutes and I’ll look forward to that.
Your comments are welcome.
– The Big K –