Google PlusTwitter

Desperation & Quiet

By on Aug 20, 2007 | 1 comment

Share On GoogleShare On FacebookShare On Twitter

Past few days haven’t been good. Murphy’s Law came true couple of times & I’m not very happy about it. I seriously don’t know what’s going wrong. Logic isn’t helping. Common Sense won’t come to rescue. The number of electric signals that are processed by my brain has reached a new peak. I seem to have no control over anything.

The Big K does not feel like The Big K anymore.

The feeling of desperation is deep within. The sense of uneasiness is bringing me down. How do you feel when you realize that you’ll have to start everything from scratch again? Every neuron in my brain is shrinking. Know the feeling in your throat that doesn’t let you complete the thoughts?

I’ve been questioning myself. Repeatedly. I’m challenging myself to do the things I’ve never done before. Situations make me feel that everything is against me. I’m hitting back at everything, for I want things to happen the way I wish. I’ve done that in past and lost. The fear of starting over again is pulling me back from taking steps. But every cell in my body is revolting, wanting me to take that step. I’m at yet another cross-road & I don’t know which way is right.

I know I’m right. But unless it prove it, I can’t get my answers. If I mess up, I’ll lose what gave me confidence & happiness in past. Sometimes in life, you just can’t afford to go wrong. Yet, you cannot make all decisions; for someone else needs to take them.

Yet, there is a big light of hope that constantly glows in my subconscious mind. It tells me I’m going to have it done the way I want. Once I do it, I will change. I won’t be the same man I’ve been so far. I want to try & run for everything that I wish in my life. Next time when I stop, I want to see myself as a better & a grown up person.
Finally, I want to remain worthy of what I’ve received in life.

-The Big K-



1 Comment

  1. kid

    October 30, 2007

    Post a Reply

    introspection of life.. random thoughts.. wants and wishes.. the will to make things work your way.. and when they dont.. u sit back and think what went wrong.. and hw to continue… hw not to let things keep u down.. u know u have fallen.. but its more important..to realise.. that you need to rise up again.. !!

    I once read.. a quote.. don’t where.. it goes something like this.. though not the exact quote..

    There are people, who look up at the stars and say, they guide the path to my destiny.. and there others.. who look up and say .. my destiny guides the path taken by stars !!!

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *