Attention Indian Banks!
I, The Big K – owner & creator of The Big K’s Superblog, want to declare that I DO NOT NEED PERSONAL LOAN at whatever rate of interest, under whatever scheme and I I request you to fire your IT staff because every time your computer chooses my name as the winner of your damn scheme.
I have immense trust in Indian banking system and I don’t want to lose it so easily. So please stop calling on my cell phone and tell me that I am the ‘chosen one’. Just stop it!
I don’t understand one thing – How come suddenly every xyz bank in India has realized that ‘The Big K’ is in need of personal loan? Don’t (oh please don’t!) go by my looks, or do I look a poor chap in need of money? Well, I’m glad that you care for me & my financial well being, but please don’t call me in the middle of my lunch. Moreover, I do
not take pride in having fun in conversations with your callers. Here’s a sample conversation (actual, real life!) :-
Bank’s Representative (BR): “Hellooo Big K! I’m Priya (Note: How come all banks have all ‘Priyas’? 🙂 ) calling from bank. I’m glad to inform you that your name has been selected under our meh-duh scheme. Sir, under this scheme…”
The Big K (K): “Baah!”
BR: “Sir, could you please tell me what do you do?”
K: “I don’t do anything & I don’t have a job. I need money” ( 😀 )
BR: “Oh sir, are you a student?”
K: “No, I’m not, I graduated as engineer 3.5 years back, so what’s your scheme?”
K: “Yay! 😀 Victory!”
Conversation#2 (with BR from another bank)
BR: “Sir, I’m Priya (again)…”
K: “Hold on! I do not need any personal loan”
BR: “Sir but I have new scheme for you…”
K: “Do I have I have to pay all the money back to you under your new scheme?”
BR: “I didn’t get you sir…”
K: “Forget it! where did you get my number from?
BR: “Sir, we get the list from our seniors… I don’t know more”
K: “But where the heck did they get our numbers from? (cursing the GSM operator for selling customer contact details for few bucks) Anyway. I do not need personal loan. Be assured that in future if I need personal loan, your bank will be my first preference. Thank you for calling”.
BR: “Thank you sir.”
Well, the BRs do their job – what they’ve been told to do. But I’m sorry for the empty brained officials who make them do this.
As I write this, my phone is ringing. Here I come, Priya! 🙂
–The Big K–
Update: I was right. The phone was from a bank representative who asked me if I needed personal loan. Way to go, Big K! You Rock!