My close friend already declared to his family – he does not want to get married.
My parents tell me I’m already over age (27) and my chances of finding a good life-partner are close to zero. I don’t wish to get married to any girl just because its a norm to get married. But I am willing to wait until I find someone who rings the bell.
What to I do?
[PS I: If you are a nice girl reading this - send me a message. Who knows we'll strike a chord 
]
[PS II: I'm not desparate to get married.]
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
The right age to get married is when you find true love.
It can be 4,14,40,44 ,80 anything.
I am not joking. I am serious.
…agree with Gawran Pundit a 100%. And true love will also share the same principles. You can have differing likes and dislikes, different hobbies, differing taste in food, clothes and music but your principles in life should match. I am serious too. If you believe that you should obey the traffic rules or pay your taxes and the significant other thinks only losers follow rules and pay taxes – that’s not a love match.
Alright, I agree. But what about having a family, settling in life before you are 30, having kids so that they become ‘grown ups’ before you reach old age, having someone to help you?
What would be your suggestion to a guy who got approached by few girls in his life time but rejected them because he didn’t even bother about falling in love
?
There’s another thought : I get married to someone I may not like on the first hand – but has decent education and comes from a good family. Then I try hard to like her and fall in love with her. Does that work out? Is it worth taking the risk?
Worth mentioning here – I’m a struggling entrepreneur who does not make as much as he used to make as an employee of a Multinational. I earn enough to pay the bills and my income grows every month.
Being from a Maharashtrian community; where people just hate the entrepreneurs (that is, they love the success stories of entrepreneurs but won’t let their girls marry a struggling entrepreneur), does it make sense for me to get a job until I get married and then leave it because my own venture does well?
[quote]There’s another thought : I get married to someone I may not like on the first hand – but has decent education and comes from a good family. Then I try hard to like her and fall in love with her. Does that work out? Is it worth taking the risk?[/quote]
Well, this is what all our ancestors did throughout generations.And in most of the cases, it did work out, isnt it?
Why dont you marry a simple yet smart,intelligent girl?
I believe education doesnt really reflect smartness !
Dont bother getting a job.Please, maharashtrians need more people like you so that 20 years down the line, i would be proud telling my children that Big K (owner of a big venture by then) was my online friend (at least i considered him from my side
) !
So my suggestion is,
1) Either wait for the right time if you really want to find a PERFECT partner
2) Arranged marriage with a girl who is smart (education doesnt really matter)
P.S. Have you tried showing your patrika to a good astrologist? I believe strongly in it as my grandpa is also a very experienced astrologist(40 years exp. and he never charged any body for it) …..Try showing your patrika to some renowned astrologist who can tell you when you have a good “lagna yog”…..It really helps…Believe me.
I think its not necessary that u should fall in love with somebody to get married.
What is more important is to understand the person.
What are weak points,strong points.
What are her views regarding different issues.
What things she is adamant about and where she doesn’t mind to be flexible.
And to what extent can you adjust with her decision of being adamant or flexible on certain issues.
If you are clear about these issues, then u will definitely fall in love with such person as the time progresses.
Going beyond this no match is a perfect match. It needs some adjustment to make it a happy life.
Regarding right age to get married, our ancestors rightly decided the age of 25 to enter in gruhastashram. This gives you enough time to spend and adjust with your partner before you get totally involved in your career goals.
Last I do not think the only person who ring bell in your mind is perfect match otherwise no love marriage would have ended in divorce!!!
Age no bar.
There will be a day when you will know ‘This is the right girl for me.’ Stick her along . Get married whenever you feel like.
Enjoy.
“Kaustubh” in comment #6 is not me
.
———————————————-
@Mayur: Maybe you are right. I had the feeling today when I visited HSBC bank today. She helped me deposit a cheque. Yay! :p
I guess I’ll have to frequent the bank now.
You shouldn’t leave whatever is what you are doing in order to get married. Whoever you will marry should support what you do and be by your side no matter what. Then you will know she’s the right person.
Accept you for who you are and not for whom you appear to be in order to get married.
I think you are funny but cynical
My response to your points…
I don’t wish to get married to any girl just because its a norm to get married–200% right, please stick to this rule. becoz if you do get married just for the sake of your family, you ruin the happiness of that poor girl and that will be so NOT FAIR. You will be happy in your world but think about her…
But I am willing to wait until I find someone who rings the bell.–who & what is stopping you from ringing the bell. Come on wake up, if you like someone then take the initiative else keep waiting for the bell to ring.. It may or may not. Chances of the latter are more.
Oh btw I think a few girls did try to ring the bell but you did not even bother to get up and open the door.
What to I do?- if you can write about it and also share gyan on so many other issues, you very well should know what you need to do. GET OUT of your me & myself world and open your eyes. You will understand what needs to be done!
[PS II: I'm not desperate to get married]- I think you are desperate that someone should fall for you and go all the way to convenience you about it while you sit back and enjoy! That is so uncool.
@Pallavi:
@Pallavi: Yep, there were many bill ringers so far but I did not open the door. I’m not desperate to get married (if I were, I’d have gotten married by now
). Well I’d love to have someone nice fall for me and convince me about it ( seriously, who wouldn’t something like that to happen?). But I don’t expect that.
I don’t think the girl who’ll marry me will regret her decision. The fact is that we may like/love anyone if we try and focus on positives than negatives of that person. There are no perfect matches.
I’m only waiting for someone nice and beautiful
(ahoy!)
BON Chance! … like you said you wud love to have someone nice fall for you and convince you too… have you thought about doing it for someone.. I mean if that someone nice is actually so nice that you would not mind that she approaches you then i guess you too can tk an initiative…both have to tk one step towards each other and meet mid way!
I am sure she will not regret it only if you make her feel special too. and why look at the positives or negatives at all. .just accept the person the way he/she is. one shud never be judgmental in love/liking and then you will feel you are with the right person in a PERFECT relationship.
@Pallavi: Yes, sure. But I have not found her yet
I don’t mind taking any number of steps 
Then I am sure, you will find her soon! I hope n wish you do! seriously.
Thank you very very much
you are always welcome very very very MUCH!
@Big K
I can already see sparks flying
@ Gawran Pundit
Wow!!
I started to read in a pensive mood ….only to last for few seconds.
Its Life – Yes its a real world we all live in and but we all have a world of our own.
It sure does not match to anyone elses …
How do you want your world to be.. It should and never be compared to any standards ..
Perfection is a not a word we should use when we talk about life …
Now talking about ones world..
You decide hows its gonna be…
If you feel good about something ..thts you and you only …
About marriage ..
Lets say its a social commitment ..or more strictly ..Its a phase of life ..or else you will get bored with the rest of your life ..Isnt It
You actually need a partner for life ….someone you can take along with you..
As if your going on a long journey ..
To add to my reply on marriage
I must say.
How can you find the right person and even if you meet the person how would you know thts the right person.
When you meet someone you are campatible and are comfortable with and are attracted to each other thts the right person but only at that moment.
The question to be answered is are you inseparable ?
If yes then you can move on.in life and meet someother person ?
What makes two people inseparable
Yeah ..Its Love right or insecurity ..
& you might feel the person you are with is “The Person”
and you cannot afford to loose them.
This feeling is very hard to come by “not like the movies”
As humans we all might want to achive this feat but its practically not possible
With age and maturity such things die.
The craziness and blindness dies away making us feel its okay.
So we dont put ourselves 100 % into it as we are not sure what the outcome would be .
So we are careful in a relationship or lets say wiser ..
but this is not love ..
Love is foolishness to me
A place where you dont exist alone
Its a rush you get and its the reason for you to live.
For a feeling like this to happen either..two people should fall in love with each other ..
One sided love cant take you to that level ..because the slightest rejection is enough to break your extent of your imagination and will stop your love from growing..
If its love it will only grow..
and will never stop untill you die..
such people will realise it
but at what age ..
its not time bound ..
Its when the “bells ring”
And we do not have any control of the timing ..its upto fate.
So if you havent felt love for someone and she is not with you ..it means the bells havent rung..
Your heart is still beating ..
You will experience love for sure ..
A good heart cannot be left alone..
If thats true then you will meet someone by chance or by way of marriage ..
and you will dicover that even if you arent falling in love you will be loved .. and thats the reason you have lived this day..
Cheers ..
To add to my reply on marriage
I must say.
How can you find the right person and even if you meet the person how would you know thts the right person.
When you meet someone you are campatible and are comfortable with and are attracted to each other thts the right person but only at that moment.
The question to be answered is are you inseparable ?
If yes then you can move on.in life and meet someother person ?
What makes two people inseparable
Yeah ..Its Love right or insecurity ..
& you might feel the person you are with is “The Person”
and you cannot afford to loose them.
This feeling is very hard to come by “not like the movies”
As humans we all might want to achive this feat but its practically not possible
With age and maturity such things die.
The craziness and blindness dies away making us feel its okay.
So we dont put ourselves 100 % into it as we are not sure what the outcome would be .
So we are careful in a relationship or lets say wiser ..
but this is not love ..
Love is foolishness to me
A place where you dont exist alone
Its a rush you get and its the reason for you to live.
For a feeling like this to happen either..two people should fall in love with each other ..
One sided love cant take you to that level ..because the slightest rejection is enough to break your extent of your imagination and will stop your love from growing..
If its love it will only grow..
and will never stop untill you die..
such people will realise it
but at what age ..
its not time bound ..
Its when the “bells ring”
And we do not have any control of the timing ..its upto fate.
So if you havent felt love for someone and she is not with you ..it means the bells havent rung..
Your heart is still beating ..
You will experience love for sure ..
A good heart cannot be left alone..
If thats true then you will meet someone by chance or by way of marriage ..
and you will dicover that even if you arent falling in love you will be loved .. and thats the reason you have lived this day..
Cheers ..
i m 18th now and one person propose me to marry with him but mu dad is against my marriage.
his age is 27th now.