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Don’t sell me that ISO 9001:2008 thing!

By on May 22, 2010 | 1 comment

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I got a call from some company based out of Mumbai, India trying to sell the ‘ISO 9001:2008’ certification. The seller was complete idiot and had not done his homework. He ended up wasting my time and his time as well. Here’s our conversation –

Idiot: “Hello, Sir I am <complete> <idiot> from <unknown name> company, Mumbai.

K: “Hello <idiot>”.

Idiot: “Sir… does your company have *ISO 9001:2008 certification*?”

K: “What the …<i hate luv stories promo style>……No we don’t.”

<Idiot suddenly changes the language of conversation from English to Hindi>

Idiot: “Sir, aapki company ke liye achha rahega … aapka quality standard badh jayega..”

K: “Ek min, ye ISO lene se humara quality standard kaise badhega?”

<At this stage, idiot is too idiot to understand that he’s falling in Big K’s venomous word trap :mrgreen: >

Idiot: “Sir ISO mein har chiz ka documentation hota hain. Aur sir isse aapka goodwill bhi badhega”

K: “Hmmm. Documentation aur quality ka kya connection hain?”

Idiot: “Sir humari company ne bhi liye hain…main aapko certification copy mail kar sakta hoon”

K: “No, I don’t want it. Just tell me three things we should go for certification”

Idiot: “Sir isse aapka goodwill badhta hai market mein”

K: “Humara goodwill to already achha hain”

Idiot: “Sir ek alag type ka status aata hai iss certification se…”

K: “Mein samza nahin, kya status milega iss certification se?”

Idiot: “……sir….<silence> ..”

K: “What if we don’t match your quality standards?”

Idiot: “Sir, each department will have its own documentation <?????????????>”

K: “Sorry nahi chahiye”. Phone cut.

At this point, I really felt as if I said no to a candy seller. I remembered my days as a software engineer when I had questioned my manager why the company was spending so much money in getting a certification. I had been through audits and the complete process was completely insane.

I thought to myself; ISO certification just makes you a ‘qualified beggar’ in the services market. What’s your thought on ISO certifications? Is it just another trick by foreign companies to take money out of Indian pockets?

1 Comment

  1. Mayur

    May 26, 2010

    Post a Reply

    I can explain the need for an ISO 9001 certification for an IT services company. Though explaining to you will be a futile exercise. But I can provide you an analogy. ISO 9001 or for that matter any certification is like a GRE/GATE/GMAT/ Blah blah score. Why you need those scores is exactly why you need certifications. It is a measure, not of quality but of processes.

    By the way I feel sorry for the company who hired a poor sales guy.

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