Yesterday, years of my efforts invested in controlling my anger helped me keep my cool while insulting the person and later getting him to apologize through a mediator. A total, brutal WIN situation for me! I’m not an advocate of insulting people but when people really bully you and act smarter, stronger and authoritative than they are; a cool insult can do wonders. Here’s what happened yesterday –
I’ve always hated being a ‘services provider’. However, few situations in the past got saw me provide services to maintain friendships, relations and genuinely help people realize their ‘being online dreams’. I built website for an organization because they didn’t know how to do it and asked me to do it for them. Then my work was appreciated and the cycle continued for few clients – all through referrals. Now, all the clients were the ones who ‘requested’ me to build the websites for them; and I did. One such client was the son of ‘group of institutions’ owner. We worked on a concept and I build a website for their college. Now, being a friend, I never pressured them for money (running a server needs money!) I’d send them invoice well in time and they’d pay much after the deadline. But all’s well, in the name of maintaining relations.
Now, this egoistic ‘group of institutions’ owner removed his son from power and I had no clue about it. As usual, I sent an invoice to him but never heard back. I thought he’d be busy, so didn’t bother. I knew, sooner or later, I’d get paid. Two days ago, a professor from the college called me and asked me to ‘immediately update’ their website. I told them that I’d update the site, but the payment needs to be processed immediately. I won’t be able to keep the server live for longer time. I also informed them that I had sent the invoice and reminders 3-4 times and have received no update on it.
Note: I had no clue that the guy (owner’s son) whom I sent invoice wasn’t working with the college anymore. And his son had not forwarded the invoice to college and had not informed me that he’s no longer with college.
Yesterday, the group of institutions owner called me – and put all the blame on me; started showing me my ‘level’ and so on. Now he’s a fairly old man (I guess in his 50s) and the language he used wasn’t decent. Naturally, upon listening to such language, my anger shot up – but I controlled it. With a cool mind; I not only insulted the man but also showed him his ‘level’. I’m quite sure no-one would have insulted him with such, cool but ‘heart-shattering’ words ever. I didn’t use any swear words and managed the insult with neat words. I also broke up the contract and informed them they should find someone else to maintain their website.
Two hours later, the man asked his mediator to talk to me and requested me to continue the contract. I accepted because I knew if I don’t; they’ll be in big trouble. The contract now continues for next 6 months. I hate being into services. The ‘buyer’ thinks he’s the king and can make the services provider act as his servent.
Had I kept mum and let him insult me, for no fault of mine; I’d have felt terribly bad for not saying a word in defense. I guess it was right from my part to insult him. Being cool helps in tough situations. I guess I’m going to quit offering services. It’s always better to be a product provider – because you’re in control.