While flipping channels today, I stumbled upon following ‘India Today Conclave 2012’ video on Headlines Today channel. Just few minutes into the video and I realized I was commenting on almost every alternat sentence uttered by Chetan Bhagat. While Chetan Bhagat is immensely popular among Indian youth and is believed to represent the young generation of India (which will lead this country in future); I do not subscribe to think school of thoughts. I imagined myself being a part of the show, sitting on an invisible chair on the stage and passing my own comments on whatever Chetan Bhagat had to say. Watch the video while you read my own responses below –
Chetan @ 9:20: Babaji Mujhe Bhasm mat kar dena …
Big K: Ha ha ha, Chetan you’re so funny. Ha haa haa… That was the funniest joke you’ve ever..haa haa haa
Chetan: @ 12:57: What about the people who have legitimate 500 rupee notes?
Big K: Dude! If you have legitimate Rs. 500 rupee note; the bank will give you equivalent amount of 100 rupee notes.
Chetan: @ 13.05: Shraap mat de dena babaji …
Big K: It’s not funny anymore, Chetan. Just like your second, third novels….. leave it.
Chetan @ 13.03: You don’t know how economy & country works. That’s the reality of it…
Big K: Chetan! Do you want Babaji to throw few MBA buzzwords at you & wear suite, tie & shoes…so that you’re convinced that he does know how country & economy work?
Chetan @ 13:47: You will lead your followers to India of the 16th century with your policies & beliefs that you carry. What scientific basis do you have homosexuality is a disease?
Big K: Hom…. What??? Where does that come from in this talk?
Chetan @ 13:19: You say you have poses to cure homosexuality. I want to know what those poses are?!
Big K: Holy crap! (Moves his chair away from Chetan). Really, Chetan?
Chetan @ 15:08: If you are right, produce a research paper!
Big K: (Why am I here? Chetan is so dull! Everything needs a proof these days. Maybe I should ask him for a research paper to prove that he belongs to his parents. Leave it.)
Chetan @ 15:27: You’ve such a big stage and you talk anything about any community. Muze bhi agar stage mil jaaye aur mai bhi kisi community ke bare mein bolna shuru kar dun ki in mein defect hain …yeh kya tarika hein?
Big K: Hey hey hey Chetan! Don’t you use abusive language & f-words in every alternate sentence in your books? Who gave you the right to make the younger generation familiar with things they shouldn’t learn? Come on, Chetan; you’ve misused the big stage that made you popular.
Chetan @ 15:36: Can’t I have a glass of wine in your hand and care for the country?
Big K: (Bah! IQ scale will now have to be modified to go negative. #sad.). Chetan, you can get high on LSD and still care for country. No issues about it. Don’t give us flashes of the obvious.
Chetan @ 15:45 : Agar aap ke haath mein satta thama di gayei to pata nahi corruption jaayega ya nahi jaayega, but pata nahi humara desh kaha jaayega?
Big K: Chetan; what’s up dude? Why mix homosexuality & wine with ‘Desh kahan jayega?’. I mean, wtf (I learned that through your novel, ha!)? Don’t you know that this country’s law does not allow you to ‘Drink & Drive’, and you want your PM to get drunk and drive this country? WAA DAA FUUU…(oops!)
Chetan @ 16:33: To be a politician you need some tact…
Big K: Chetan, there are 100x more people than your entire readership who get up at 5 A.M to do Yoga listen to Baba Ramdev. Don’t talk about ‘tact’. Plus, Baba is *not* a politician. Do you ever read news papers for which you work as a columnist?
Chetan: @ 17:25: You should have used the ‘sympathy’ you got after police action on June 4. You had an ‘opportunity’. You could have hired few advisors than putting up tents worth crores of rupees (Baba: Next time, I’ll invite you) …no, you can’t afford me.
Big K: (Does quick meditation to cool himself). Chetan, are you in your own senses? Are you saying Baba should have used the sympathy he gained for his own benefit? You should thank him that he didn’t! Oh well, for you (MBA) everything is just business, right? Just look for your own profits! Darn! Oh and what did you say? You’d charge money to give your advise to benefit your country? So how much should the soldiers should ‘charge’ for sacrificing their lives for the country? …and by the way, no one needs your advise; except for a few idiotic engineering & MBA students who think you’re a motivational speaker.
Chetan @ 18:03: TV ka camera on hein kuch bhi bol dena hai…masti mein.
Big K: Mirror please, for Chetan!
[ Baba Ramdev Answers The Questions/Issues Raised By Chetan Bhagat ]
Chetan @ 28:20 : Don’t tell us what the German magazines say. Give us concrete proof.
Big K: Umm, Chetan; did you ever question Wikileaks? Did you ever question the textbooks? You took them for what they are right? The German magazine could be right; and they are a reputed publication. Huh?
Dude On The Left: What’s your opinion on the soldiers who drink?
Big K: They should not drink. Drinking is a bad thing.
Dude On The Left: When my kids grow up; I’ll share drinks with them. (Audience Claps)
Big K: What a pathetic audience! Darn! What about ‘Sanskar’, fella?
[The moderator seems to be taking Chetan’s side and defending alcoholism]
We’ve a new generation of ‘intellectuals’ who think everything except direct physical abuse is justified. They’ll debate on it, they’ll make the wrong look right with debates & arguments, they’ll label people as ‘moral police’ and they think because they speak & look English; they ‘know’ everything.
Unfortunately, this generation has a say in almost everything and power to influence others.