Unless our servers in the US trouble me, I make it a point to get up early in the morning and practice Yog. I’d usually tune in Aastha Channel and follow Baba Ramdev. It feels great. But in the last few days, I’ve developed strong liking for a new ‘Baba’ – Nirmal Baba! I’m totally sold to his business skills more than his God-Powers, which he uses to fix people’s problems! I mean, I’m really really impressed! Nirmal Baba Rocks! If I were an investor, I’d even sell my kidney to invest in his trust because his business model is a synonym for money machine! It’d similar to investing money in money printing press!
I got introduced to Nirmal Baba through his TV show that runs throughout the day on various channels at various times. ‘Samagam’ is what ‘Nirmal Baba’s Darbar’ is called. Hundreds of people gather in a big auditorium to listen to Nirmal Baba by paying Rs. 2000 for a seat! Nirmal Baba then addresses his audience with your usual ‘do no bad, do no harm’ stuff while people listen to him as if they’ve been hypnotized. What’s even more interesting is the way Nirmal Baba solves people’s problems. Here’s one dialogue between Nirmal Baba and his devotee which I made up after studying the algorithm Nirmal Baba uses to solve people’s problems :-
Devotee: Baba, I need your blessings. I’m deep in debt and there seems no way out. My personal life is full of troubles. Please help!
Nirmal Baba: Hmm. Why is this ‘Sports Shoe’ flashing up in my head? Do you wear sport shoes?
Devotee: No baba, there’s no reason for me to wear sport shoes. I only wear sandals.
Nirmal Baba: When was the last time you wore sport shoes?
Devotee: I don’t remember exactly, Babaji. Maybe about 5-6 years ago.
Nirmal Baba: Buy a nice pair of sport shoes for yourself. Godly powers will start showering their blessings on you.
Devotee: (Now that he’s got the master fix for his problems) Babaji, I will. Please keep showering your blessings on me and my family. (Begins to retire from scene)
Nirmal Baba: Hold on! Why is this ‘Snake’ flashing in my head?
Devotee: (Stops) : I’m afraid of snakes, Babaji.
Nirmal Baba: Go to nearest Shiv-Mandir and donate : Rs. 5001 and Cow-Milk to the temple. All your problems will be solved.
Audience (Claps) because Nirmal Baba’s got the most complete ‘fix’ for the devotee!
Towards the end of the ‘Samagam’, Nirmal Baba asks audiences to ‘open’ their wallets and purses and point them towards him. Nirmal Baba then showers his blessings on everyone’s purses so that they’re filled with money all the time. It’s simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!
See the following Samagam Video (…each one of the people sitting in their has paid Rs. 2000 to attend this)
Why Nirmal Baba’s Business Model Is An Awesome Business Model
…because it never fails; and no matter whether the world economy goes up or down; this business model works! Why? Because it’s capitalizes on people’s faith! Let’s say Nirmal Baba’s success rate is just 5%; meaning out of 100 people who follow Nirmal Baba’s advise and get the expected results; the remaining 95% will continue to strengthen their believe in Nirmal Baba! Wow! People won’t doubt whether the solution (?) Baba offered was right; but if would continue to think that since it didn’t work for them; the fault lies with them!
…and since the business is built on ‘Faith’, it will never fail! Baba didn’t force anyone to attend his ‘Samagam’, nor did he ask cheat anyone (debate in comments below). It’s just that people want to pay for the work that can’t be measured or seen or experienced. If people don’t have any problem paying him money without expecting any returns, why should anyone bother? For the troubled people, it’s the ‘investment’ they are making in Nirmal Baba’s cure-for-everyone scheme. No wonder Nirmal Baba’s bank accounts accumulated Rs. 109 crores in the last 3 months.
In effect, Nirmal Baba’s business is pure profit making and the only major input it needs is Nirmal Baba’s creative skills in coming up with innovative and funny ways to fix problems.
…and I wonder why people think business and money making is terribly hard. Do you agree?