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Nirmal Baba – I Love You (For Your Business Model)!

By on Apr 13, 2012 | 20 comments

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Unless our servers in the US trouble me, I make it a point to get up early in the morning and practice Yog. I’d usually tune in Aastha Channel and follow Baba Ramdev. It feels great. But in the last few days, I’ve developed strong liking for a new ‘Baba’ – Nirmal Baba! I’m totally sold to his business skills more than his God-Powers, which he uses to fix people’s problems! I mean, I’m really really impressed! Nirmal Baba Rocks! If I were an investor, I’d even sell my kidney to invest in his trust because his business model is a synonym for money machine! It’d similar to investing money in money printing press!

Nirmal Baba

Hey! I've The Best Business Model Ever! - Nirmal Baba

I got introduced to Nirmal Baba through his TV show that runs throughout the day on various channels at various times. ‘Samagam’ is what ‘Nirmal Baba’s Darbar’ is called. Hundreds of people gather in a big auditorium to listen to Nirmal Baba by paying Rs. 2000 for a seat! Nirmal Baba then addresses his audience with your usual ‘do no bad, do no harm’ stuff while people listen to him as if they’ve been hypnotized. What’s even more interesting is the way Nirmal Baba solves people’s problems. Here’s one dialogue between Nirmal Baba and his devotee which I made up after studying the algorithm Nirmal Baba uses to solve people’s problems :-

Devotee: Baba, I need your blessings. I’m deep in debt and there seems no way out. My personal life is full of troubles. Please help!

Nirmal Baba: Hmm. Why is this ‘Sports Shoe’ flashing up in my head? Do you wear sport shoes?

Devotee: No baba, there’s no reason for me to wear sport shoes. I only wear sandals.

Nirmal Baba: When was the last time you wore sport shoes?

Devotee: I don’t remember exactly, Babaji. Maybe about 5-6 years ago.

Nirmal Baba: Buy a nice pair of sport shoes for yourself. Godly powers will start showering their blessings on you.

Devotee: (Now that he’s got the master fix for his problems) Babaji, I will. Please keep showering your blessings on me and my family. (Begins to retire from scene)

Nirmal Baba: Hold on! Why is this ‘Snake’ flashing in my head?

Devotee: (Stops) : I’m afraid of snakes, Babaji.

Nirmal Baba: Go to nearest Shiv-Mandir and donate : Rs. 5001 and Cow-Milk to the temple. All your problems will be solved.

Audience (Claps) because Nirmal Baba’s got the most complete ‘fix’ for the devotee!

Towards the end of the ‘Samagam’, Nirmal Baba asks audiences to ‘open’ their wallets and purses and point them towards him. Nirmal Baba then showers his blessings on everyone’s purses so that they’re filled with money all the time. It’s simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

See the following Samagam Video (…each one of the people sitting in their has paid Rs. 2000 to attend this)

Why Nirmal Baba’s Business Model Is An Awesome Business Model

…because it never fails; and no matter whether the world economy goes up or down; this business model works! Why? Because it’s capitalizes on people’s faith! Let’s say Nirmal Baba’s success rate is just 5%; meaning out of 100 people who follow Nirmal Baba’s advise and get the expected results; the remaining 95% will continue to strengthen their believe in Nirmal Baba! Wow! People won’t doubt whether the solution (?) Baba offered was right; but if would continue to think that since it didn’t work for them; the fault lies with them!

Yuvraj Singh Nirmal Baba Cancer Treatment

Faith Keeps The World Going!

…and since the business is built on ‘Faith’, it will never fail! Baba didn’t force anyone to attend his ‘Samagam’, nor did he ask cheat anyone (debate in comments below). It’s just that people want to pay for the work that can’t be measured or seen or experienced. If people don’t have any problem paying him money without expecting any returns, why should anyone bother? For the troubled people, it’s the ‘investment’ they are making in Nirmal Baba’s cure-for-everyone scheme. No wonder Nirmal Baba’s bank accounts accumulated Rs. 109 crores in the last 3 months.

In effect, Nirmal Baba’s business is pure profit making and the only major input it needs is Nirmal Baba’s creative skills in coming up with innovative and funny ways to fix problems.

…and I wonder why people think business and money making is terribly hard. Do you agree?


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20 Comments

    • shipra kumari

      April 22, 2012

      Post a Reply

       Nirmal Baba can never do dis to yuvi…………………..it’s all rumours

      • Birendra

        April 24, 2012

        Post a Reply

        please listen to ur heart…… and brain… the heart gives u the emotions and the mind goes with the current scenario…………… 2012. these bababs may be a spritual leader having the knowledge of veda…. puran etc amnd it is always good to listen them and one can bye the same from any library as we the indians have forgot our values and traditional shisya guru parampara  in competing with the modern techies. be practical no baba are required the best baba is within us and the human kind……. by the way if u feel that i can be a baba feel free to reply……

  1. Nikhimenon

    April 14, 2012

    Post a Reply

    long tym back bajaj had also a baba ..hoodybaba…

    cheesy? i know..!

  2. Peeyush

    April 14, 2012

    Post a Reply

    Babas have been cheating people since ages. There is nothing new in it. And there is nothing anyone can do about it. Because whenever anyone is in deep trouble, he works on all possible solutions, faith being the strongest contender. May be one day people will understand the difference between business and spirituality. 

  3. Circularsquare

    April 16, 2012

    Post a Reply

    I give similar advice to what Nirmalbaba gives only with a few subtle changes :-

    Devotee :- I am performing poorly in academics . 
    Me :- How many hours are you studying on a regular basis.
    Devotee :- 1-2 hours daily.
    Me :- Gradually increase it to 5-6 hours daily.

    Devotee :- I am having high sugar.
    Me :- Walk regularly in the open spaces. Start with 0.5 km daily. In 2-3 months time try to increase this to 5-6 kms daily. Also eat food at home and use very little oil. Eat fruits and salads too.

    Devotee :- I am under depression.
    Me :- Read books by people such as Mahatma Gandhi , Abe Lincoln , Tagore , Vivekananda etc. You also need to exercise regularly like previous devotee.

    Me :- (in general to all devotees). Advice I have given is known to produce results in majority cases. But there are somethings which remain outside control of human will. No matter how hard our efforts are there is always a chance of failure. Hence be prepared for failure in spite of efforts. If you get success well and good , if not try again. Live to fight another day.

    The advice I have given is one which I learned from a baba whose name is commonsenseBaba. This baba is available to everybody and is free of cost. Understanding his logic is also very easy , what is hard is following him. (This is exactly opposite to NirmalBaba. Following his advice is very easy , but understanding his logic is impossible)

    • Shikha Waka 7

      April 20, 2012

      Post a Reply

       such a big idle u r. writing all these freaks. keep it on. u idle. i laugh on it. devotees r unaffected

        • Circularsquare

          April 21, 2012

          Post a Reply

          I think devotees of Nirmal Baba are under a common logical fallacy . It is known as ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc’ . 
          “Since that event followed this one, that event must have been caused by this one.”( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post_hoc_ergo_propter_hoc ) .So if Nirmal Baba tells a devotee that have a “rasogolla” and after that the devotee passes an exam. The devotee will feel that eating a ‘rasogolla’ made him/her clear the exam. This is the perfect example of ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc’ .”Post hoc is a particularly tempting error because temporal sequence appears to be integral to causality. The fallacy lies in coming to a conclusion based solely on the order of events, rather than taking into account other factors that might rule out the connection.”

      • RVH

        May 4, 2012

        Post a Reply

        How much money did you get to post here Shikha waka naka? Only, had you invested that money in learning English.. :P
        Oh and ya..of course the devotees are unaffected..you got to have brains to get affected by logic and common sense.. :)

  4. Sanjeev@.........

    April 19, 2012

    Post a Reply

    G8!!!!! man but ur so right he has a perfect business module…after failing in so many businesses, bro u cant stop it because in our country u just sit down under a tree and start looking at the sky within few second u would find many idiots who are looking with u and then ….what to say

  5. Shikha Waka 7

    April 20, 2012

    Post a Reply

    your attempt to defame nirmal baba is well composed. u must have spent gud time nd  energy 4 doing dis labour. but sorry his real devotees will b unaffected by dis. all in vain. 

    • The Big K

      April 20, 2012

      Post a Reply

      Defame? Why’d I want to defame Nirmal Baba? I’m one of his fan, given the business skill he has. Isn’t it evident from the article?

      • Chetan Raikwar

        October 23, 2013

        Post a Reply

        Don’t you try to be over smart. We devotees know well whom to trust. You better keep your views in your pocket lest they should get wasted. You better pay attention on your yoga. “Devotion is for devotees not for idiots that don’t even no the true meaning of it.” better not argue again.

  6. Abc

    May 26, 2012

    Post a Reply

    hey can you give the episode number where he asks people to open their purse & showers his blessings. Your video has been blocked due to copyright issues. I think this one is the most funniest video i have ever seen. 

  7. Harvinder Singh

    November 3, 2013

    Post a Reply

    First thing is that if your will power,dedication,hardworking,self-confidence is strong then you don’t have to search for success it will come to you.If you have full faith in Nirmal Baba G then you don’t have to spend Rs 2000/- to attend the darbar. You can get the blessings of Nirmal Baba g even at home also.

  8. Amit

    November 17, 2013

    Post a Reply

    Babaji ki booti lala la la…

    Jo bhari chilam bane hum hero
    Life lage film, samasya zero
    Daaru – bandon ki gandi harkat
    Booti – upar waale ki barkat
    Babaji ki booti lala la la

    Oh o o..
    Let me take you to the Babaji
    Sukh ganjan babaji, dukh hanjan babaji
    Aye aye Wonderful babaji powerful babji
    Booti-ful Babaji

    Ho agar kisi ladki ka chakkar
    Ya ho boss tera raawan ka puttar
    Booti – har duvidha ka salution
    Dhuaan – de frustration me potion
    Babaji ki booti lala la la..

    Woh dekh, woh kya hai? Panchhi hai kya?
    Naa re pagle, plane
    Arey dekh underwear bahar hai, Superman
    Na that is Babaji……
    Babaji ki booti
    Babaji ki booti

    Babaji ki jai ho
    Jai ho babaji ki
    Unchaaiyon ko gehraiyon me leen kar dijiye
    Atma k ram se trauma ka spam clean kar dijiye
    Yahan ameer gareeb mein koi bhed nahi hai
    Baba ke seedhe prasaran mein rukavat to hai
    Magar rukawat ke liye sala koi khed nahi hai
    Samasya ke middle finger pe
    Samadhan ki angoothi – Babaji ki booti
    Babaji ki booti
    Babaji I love you!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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