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Why Do I Think Modern Mothers Don’t Love Their Kids As Much They Should

By on Oct 31, 2012 | 5 comments

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This post is going to get me all the flack from modern mothers; but I think the modern mothers don’t love their kids just as much they should. The trend seems to be going towards making the kid ‘independent’; so that the mother could have some ‘space’. I’m not sure if it’s me or latest fashion is to let someone else raise your kid – be it your neighbours or anyone willing to babysit kids.

What disturbs me the most is to see that the parents ‘hire’ special person to look after the kid. So you’d see father and mother eating at Subway and a girl taking care of the baby and attending his/her tantrums. At the parties you’ll see moms ‘looking’ for someone to look after their kids so that they can ‘enjoy’.

I’d not make a post based on just ‘one’ observation. I’ve been observing this new trend for several months now at various places and occasions.

The Damage Will Be Permanent

A kid needs mother’s touch. Physical ‘touch’ is what keeps a child attached to the mother. There’s this invisible aura that every child wants and only mother can provide for it. Mothers who keep their kids at a distance, are actually losing their kids. Maybe that is the reasons I see several kids/teenagers not at all attached to their parents. I feel really depressed when someone doesn’t care for their parents. It ‘shows’; and it’s *not* good.

The ‘love’ & ‘care’ originates from deep inside. I see this love diluting between modern mothers and their kids. I might be wrong and I just hope I’m wrong.

There’s A Way

Mothers who must earn money to fulfil the requirement and is a earning money is a ‘necessity’ – there are ways you can make *lot* of money working from home or in the time when your kid goes to school. The Internet is your friend and if you ‘really’ want to be there all the time whenever your kid wants you – you should explore Internet beyond Facebook. I’ll definitely write few ways you can do that. You just need some *STRONG* love and care for your kid and willingness to go beyond ‘what will people say?’.

Addendum: “The Father”

So, the comments here made me update this article with an entry to include ‘The Father’. Because in modern times, you just can’t just talk about ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’ individually. If you mention ‘Mother’, ‘Father’ has to chip in. We always want fully ‘balanced’ articles and opinions, don’t we?

Did I ever mention in my article that it’s the sole responsibility of the ‘Mother’ to nurture and take care of the child. Father is equally responsible – and I think that’s just pure common sense. There’s a natural division of responsibility between Father and Mother – and it’s decided by the nature. Why do I see crying kids go silent the moment the they go into their mother’s arms? Why is it that we naturally tend to think, call and even shout ‘Maa’, “Mom”, “Aaaii” when we get hurt? I’m yet to see a kid shouting “Dad” or “Papa” or “Baba”. Why is it that mother seems to be the immediate solution to all the problems we have?

Because the nature’s made it so.

And I’m not ‘pushing’ out responsibilities from all the fathers to all the mothers.

Men and Women are equal – but fathers aren’t engineered to give birth to a baby and the connection with mother is *always* deeper than connection with father. I’m not sure if our *modernist* thinking would ever change that connection because it’s designed like that by the nature.

The “Point” : Parents be aware – the kids don’t get you when they need you. Don’t complain when these kids grow up and send you to old-age homes because they won’t be there when you’ll need them.


  1. dub2moto

    November 3, 2012

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    As a “modern” father who is currently the primary caregiver in my family, I think your views are more than slightly sexist with the assumption that only the mother is fit to love and nurture the children . It is the role of BOTH parents to raise their children not just the mother’s.

    Also, I would like to point out that what you describe, families “outsourcing” child-rearing is nothing new. It has been going on for centuries whenever those rich, powerful and self-important people feel their own goals, work or pleasure take precedence over their role as a parent.

    • The Big K

      November 4, 2012

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      I’ve just updated the article to address your comments. Yes, ‘outsourcing’ isn’t new – but it doesn’t make it ‘right’. The point is : Don’t complain when your kids grow up and outsource your old-age rearing to others.

      When someone from the family must work as a bread-winner; the other has to be there for the kids. Outsourcing child-rearing is not good, not right.

  2. hmm...

    November 4, 2012

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    After reading this post the only thing that felt odd to me was that there is NO mention of FATHER here. What happened to all men? Are they in their offices? or Working from home? 😉 All other things that you mentioned in the post are not new at all. I would say the women in “Uncha Maza Zoka” era loved their kids and husbands much much more than today’s women. What say?

    • The Big K

      November 4, 2012

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      Yep. That’s the whole point of the post. The ‘career’ thing has taken over the priority list which I believe has began creating problems – which won’t be realised anytime soon. I’m not saying married moms shouldn’t think of career. All I’m saying is that if you have the will (which I think is missing these days in most of the moms) to stay with your kid and be there when he/she needs you; there are *SEVERAL*, *AWESOME* options available to make a ‘career’ out of your homes or in the part time so that you can get the best of both worlds.

      Most of the moms just wanna ‘go to the office’, gossip, have fun, do some work and come back and act as if they’re sacrificing a lot ‘for the home’. That is “WRONG”.

  3. Circularsquare

    November 7, 2012

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    Just a small comment. It is an interesting footnote. When one is in pain one says – “Aai” or “Maa” as you mentioned. I would like to add that when one is surprised or in fear – one exclaims”BAAP re”. This observation is somewhat in sync with our instincts. Evolutionarily, the role of mother has been that of caring and nurturing while that of father has been that of protecting.

    But having said that human beings have defied all laws of normal evolution. We do many things which goes against the tide of nature. I think in the future (think 1000 years from now, provided we survive) the line drawn between the role of mother and father would be very fuzzy as compared to the present. (One should read H G Wells novel time machine. It is not so relevant to the post , but he visualises a future in which the differences between men and women would be hardly noticeable).

    By the way, there is another option which can keep everyone happy. The mothers have their careers to look after . Which is totally understandable. Solution is why not have the grandparents of the kid at home. Kids share a great rapport with their grandparents. And someone has said “old age is second childhood”.

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